Ghosted

As I have written about God for many years now, I write for two reasons, one, because God makes me, and two, because I hope to create discussion.

I have said, since I was in my 20's that one of the best ways to learn about God is through sharing knowledge with others in the Church. Unfortunately, over the many years, I have found that THE Church is not the churches.

Anyone, who comes to Christ and understands the Grace they have been given IS elated, and hungry for information. It is like meeting the best and most wonderful person ever, there is no "meh", there is only obsession.

Why would there not be?

If that person saved you from a burning building too, WOW, they are awesome on their own, but in their absolute awesomeness they saved my butt from burning to death.... yeah, I am going to move in with them and follow them like a puppy dog.

Like a barnacle.

Isn't this how it is described by Jesus Himself?

Matthew 13:44-46

[44] “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

[45] “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls.

[46] When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.

So, if a person gets truly saved, then they should follow a very similar path of becoming a sponge for knowledge about God.

Seeking isn't limited.

Because of this understanding, based not just on biblical words, but also my personal experience, why, do I not see this in others?

This is a curiosity to me, especially when it comes to what I know.

You see, if you are reading this, then you most likely know that I share... a lot.

If you know me personally, you know it is not just with Facebook, or blog posts, but in discussion anywhere and anytime I am able.

My "inability" has nothing to do with courage, timidity, or politeness. No, my inability is because of something God does.

"You are crazy"

This has been my question. Do people think I am crazy, and that is why the things I know are ignored, dismissed or just "meh"?

Every now and again, for many, many years, I will say something God has opened my eyes to. Biblical things, things about God that are very scriptural, but most seem to not see, or the prominent teaching is outright wrong. The outcome, of doing this, always ends up the same in conversation or in messages.

I get ghosted.

I make my point, if I get a response, it is a passage or thought that opposes my point.

I get excited.

I get excited because I have hoped for discussion for years now. Not to prove I am right, but to grow in that knowledge, to seek information from others whom God might be revealing things to.

You see, I know God enough to know that He can and does use ANYONE to reveal information about Himself. I have seen Him use toddlers! I have seen Him use those deemed lesser... often!

So, ANY opposition to my point is a possible major reveal about Himself. I see it as Him talking... if the counter point is valid biblically and creates a "light bulb" event. You know, when that light goes on above your head and you see something previously hidden by the dark.

I just love it when that happens!

However, EVERY time I make my point and the rarity of getting a counter point. Once I respond to the counterpoint... I get ghosted.

It is like putting out a hand for a handshake and they stand there not responding at all.

It creates questions. Here is where my curiosity begins.

Why?

So, in a context of the handshake. If I put out my hand it is an act of friendship, an effort to be open.

The act of not responding can only mean a few things.

One, the person is blind and doesn't see my hand.

Two, the person is from another culture and doesn't know what the heck I am doing.

or

Three, they do not respect me or like me enough to respond. They are communicating that I am not worth their time.

These questions are very similar when I make my point.

I mostly get ignored. I think I have been "unfollowed" my 90% of my friends on Facebook, so they never see the point at all. Obviously, they are annoyed by what I post, and don't think I have anything valuable to say.

I think that is a correct assumption of that scenario.

Others, I believe, may show support for posts regarding my travels and or past events, but skim through or ignore anything without personal pictures. Basically, they see more than a short paragraph and just ignore it.

I get it, many do not really believe or know God, and are still friends with me. That is OK with me. There was a time when I would have done the same. No ill feelings there. I realize that our relationship has its limits. They want to know me... only to a point.

That is how it works with "just neighbors". I may know Jim next door, but I really don't want to know about his family struggles. Friends, but with big limits.

The biggest curiosity for me are the times when someone does respond with a counterpoint but ghosts me after I respond. That "why" is a concern.

Was my counterpoint too stupid to respond to?

Was there fear that I would get mean?

Was there concern that they could damage the relationship if they responded?

Was my worth to them so little, that they don't care if I am wrong and will pay the price for it?

They left me hanging. I got ghosted. I am still standing there with my hand out.

How would that not negatively affect the relationship? How could I not wonder if I am so not valued that concern over a friendship is greater than concern over my relationship with God?

You know, I have written before about my concerns over these things. I end up getting words of encouragement. "Oh, I like what you write". Those are nice, but I would rather a discussion.

"You know, I care about what you think, so here is why I disagree, and go ahead and tell me why you see what you see. Let's seek God together!"

Then continue in the discussion. Isn't that the way you want others to treat what you share?

Do you think I am so unintelligent or young that I MUST agree to your view no matter what?

It does seem possible.

The questions.

Why do those who I have walked with not see me as a remotely possible source of information from God? I am not less than a toddler.

So, why?

Of a truth, a truth that I know, a truth that is extremely valuable, but like most of what I know... it is ignored, GOD is in charge of whether or not ALL others hear what I say or not.

I am not ghosted... I am hidden.

Luke 18:34

[34] The disciples did not understand any of this. Its meaning was hidden from them, and they did not know what he was talking about.

THIS to me is absolutely fascinating as it is frustrating!

On one point, if I take it personally, it hurts. Those closest to me don't want me to talk about the ONE who means the most to me. It's like they don't like the best part of me, so I have to act like someone they like and just be like someone else.

On the other hand, it IS Him. He is doing this. He wants me to write, so I do, but He does nothing with it!

Very odd, but very true.

Oh, He could very well, like some famous artist, hide everything I do, until after I die. Then boom!

Or

He could do nothing with it... ever.

The writing and talking alone has value. I sort out what I know that way. I get better and clearer with my own understanding of Him. That alone has value enough for me.

So, why do I struggle with feelings on this matter at all?

That one, I still don't understand. Is it ego, and I struggle with Him making me important, or is it something more sinister? Do I think I am more important than I am.

Either way, I am not my work. I am His. Figuring this out, is not something I am going to accomplish... He is.

Oh, sure, He is going to use my persistent mental ramblings and obsessive over analysis, but HE will do the work. He will accomplish the work.

So... I hope for a connection, a response, a full discussion that never ends, but I also accept and will be fine with the partial relationships I am called to engage in.

I am the ghost, and I will only be seen as solid by Him.

That is good.