Moonshadow

I write and talk about really walking with God. Interacting, communicating and seeing. I speak of everyday events where God does things, says things, reveals things.

Yes, I know this sounds crazy to most everybody, especially believers who just don't experience any God related activity... or rather they don't think they do.

There is a tendency common among mankind to not trust information without confirmation or understanding. It isn't just evidence, it is more... relational faith. Really, it's just faith, trust in someone or something that you know.

There is nothing wrong with that, it is natural and wise. The problem isn’t a little mistrust, it is a refusal to even look, consider or investigate. This is willful... in a matter of perspective.

There is a biblical battle going on, a very real spiritual war. No, it's not angels and demons. It is a battle over control, us against our Maker.

We struggle with "I will ascend", with "If you do _______, you will become like God". We don't like the very idea that our "choices", decisions, and future are not controlled by us.

"God doesn't control us! We are not robots!"

Yes, yes, robots are emotionless things and until we create an AI that has "feelings" we are most definitely much more than robots. We are more than characters in a story too. Though biblically we are characters in God's story... His story is vastly more complex. It just IS.

Look, this is what the scriptures say. You can "choose" to believe it or not, but since what you "choose" was chosen for you before the earth began, well, you have a wall to climb over... or not.

I am trying to help, but a disturbing thought keeps nagging at me. A thought I don't like to look at. A thought I don't want to believe.

When Jesus says few will find Him... He was not exaggerating.

This is a complicated issue.

It is THE complicated issue that either resolves the "I will ascend" issue... or not.

The answer is faith. It always was. Trust in God, nothing else... not even our choices. You see, our "choice" IS the problem. It IS the "I will ascend"

"But it is clearly up to us! If we don't choose Jesus, we will all die!"

This is true, however it is also true that the choice to believe in Jesus is one that The Father made before time began... your "choice" is merely a reflection of it.

"So, why do this!?"

Yes, this is the problem... of faith. It is a lack of understanding, a lack of information and the acceptance of it, a refusal to look. If we don't look, we just won't know, and this is where comfort sits.

I look.

I am always looking.

So, I see Him... and He sees me. Like how a particle becomes a wave under observation, we become more under His observation.

I am seen.

I am known.

I am controlled.

Funny, even as I write it, my flesh has a quiet deep-seated cringe.

Yes, I still want to ascend, even though He has taught me for years that flying, walking on the water, only happens when I trust Him to not only guide my every step,

Proverbs 16:9

[9] In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

...but my very thoughts as well.

On those days where I just get lost in life, seem to forget God, His purpose and plan, it is like being so engrossed in a book, game or movie that I seem to no longer exist in this reality.

He is not bothered by this... I am. I don't like sinking. I don't like forgetting how to fly over and above this... game

Yes, it is a game. I am a character playing this temporary game. I have skills and abilities that I think I need, but the truth of it gets eroded by my own focus on the temporary. I really don't have to worry about win or lose. I know that in THIS game I have already won. I found the cheat code. My problem is I keep forgetting to use it.

Luke 12:22-23

[22] Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.

[23] Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.

Does this even remotely sound doable to someone who wants, no, fights, for control?

It is not.

You see faith, trusting The Father, is the solution. It IS the cheat code. This IS what Jesus said. This IS what Jesus modeled. It is something I already know... but foolishly forget.

Stress.

"Do I have this right?"

Scripture says so.

"Why do my thoughts get so dark?"

God has a reason for every struggle I have.

Why does no one else seem to see this?!"

Though there are few, He is still working. They are His workmanship.

"But deep down... I really hate this! Can I just die now? I know you have a plan, but playing a game were I keep losing isn't fun... at all."

Jesus showed you. Jesus told you. It WILL be worth it.

Do you trust me?

Ugh. Even knowing it doesn't make it easy. Ah, but He did say it wasn't going to be easy.

So, last night I slept like crap. I dozed in and out a few minutes then lied there awake until 3am. Though I am retired and don't really have a reason to stress about it... it still sucks.

He wasn't even chatty. In fact, He said and did nothing at all. I just lied there... getting annoyed at MY inability to simply fall asleep.

My trust failed.

My flight collapsed.

My walking on the water found me on the bottom.

Jesus had bad days. He is our example. He ALWAYS trusted the Father. He trusted God to guide. He trusted God to number His steps. He trusted God with every choice and circumstance.

ALL OF IT.

JESUS FLEW!

I just fall so short.

"But you are not YOUR work... you ARE His."

So, doubting what I know to be true, I put on my headphones to drown out my mental, spiritual, struggle. It was my 70's Playlist...

A song by Cat Steven's came up. Well, that and a quick smile from Him to point to it as a message...

Moonshadow

Oh, I’m being followed by a Moonshadow,

Moonshadow, Moonshadow

Leapin’ and hoppin’ on a Moonshadow,

Moonshadow, Moonshadow

And if I ever lose my hands,

Lose my plough, lose my land,

Oh if I ever lose my hands — oh if…

I won’t have to work no more

And if I ever lose my eyes,

If my colours all run dry,

Yes if I ever lose my eyes — oh if…

I won’t have to cry no more

I’m being followed by a Moonshadow,

Moonshadow, Moonshadow

Leapin’ and hoppin’ on a Moonshadow,

Moonshadow, Moonshadow

And if I ever lose my legs,

I won’t moan, and I won’t beg,

Yes if I ever lose my legs — oh if…

I won’t have to walk no more

And if I ever lose my mouth,

All my teeth, North and South,

Yes if I ever lose my mouth — oh if…

I won’t have to talk…

Did it take long to find me?

I asked the faithful light

Oh did it take long to find me?

And are you gonna stay the night?

I’m being followed by a Moonshadow,

Moonshadow, Moonshadow

Leapin’ and hoppin’ on a moonshadow,

Moonshadow, Moonshadow

Moonshadow, Moonshadow

Moonshadow, Moonshadow

I am sorry, I know this seems absurd. Yet if you can hear it, because He wants you too, you can also walk through this life above the wind and the waves... you can fly.

You just need to know Him enough to know who HE IS and that HE is in control... not you.

Maybe, it's time to stop wallowing in the dirt...

Matthew 6:25-26

[25] "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

[26] Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Maybe, ask Him about your value to Him?

Hopefully, you will see Him smile.